2009 JAN 16 ~hopeful start~

This year I had wanted to start differently, to try to live my day like it was the only day that mattered. Live it to the fullest. Well, like many times before, I stopped and thought and pondered about what I would like to do and have done nothing. So I sit here angry at myself for my laziness and ackwardness. I had wanted to break out of my shell, not be so anti-social or introvent. I like people, I just don't know how to act in front of friends. I wish I could be closer to people outside of work. There are many things in which I want to do, such as lose weight, take several classes to at least get my associates degree, save money, pay my bills, be kinder and nicer, show my love more, find someone to love, attend church and build up my faith in God. The many things I want to do, and the many things that I haven't done is making me depressed. I am stressed, so many things are now happening to my body that I do not understand. I hope nothing is wrong.