2009 JAN 17 ~ new car ~

Oh what a relief, I finally have a new car. It is a 2004 Mitsubishi Galant LS and I paid only six grand for it even though it is worth ten. I am truly blessed by God. I have not been zealous in my faith but looking now I see I have always been blessed. I have more than what many others do not, so I am very thankful that God has blessed me. I will strive now to live my life to the fullest, I do not think God would like for me to waste even a minute of my blessed life. I hope I can do just that, and have no more regrets over the things that I should, could have, or would have done. Right now I am really happy. I have to find a good name to call this car, Rio-Ohki was the name of my old car (1997 Nissan Altima SE - a black car with daytime running lights and cruise control modified to drift). Rio-Ohki was sweet on the turns. My Mother wants to name the new car Feather, because it is white. I can go for Megumi (jap - blessing) or Aysu (tur - moon water).

2009 JAN 17 ~first prayer to God~

Dear Lord,
Please strengthen my belief and faith, brush away my doubts and fears. Strengthen my faith in you Lord, faith in myself, and faith in others oh Lord. Clear my troubled thoughts and bring peace into my heart so I can stand firm and not be tempted to weakness. Oh Lord God, I have sinned many times, and I am ashamed for I had made promises to you Lord God to not commit thoses sins. Lord please forgive me for the sins that I have committed, I am trully sorry.

In name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, Amen.

2009 JAN 16 ~hopeful start~

This year I had wanted to start differently, to try to live my day like it was the only day that mattered. Live it to the fullest. Well, like many times before, I stopped and thought and pondered about what I would like to do and have done nothing. So I sit here angry at myself for my laziness and ackwardness. I had wanted to break out of my shell, not be so anti-social or introvent. I like people, I just don't know how to act in front of friends. I wish I could be closer to people outside of work. There are many things in which I want to do, such as lose weight, take several classes to at least get my associates degree, save money, pay my bills, be kinder and nicer, show my love more, find someone to love, attend church and build up my faith in God. The many things I want to do, and the many things that I haven't done is making me depressed. I am stressed, so many things are now happening to my body that I do not understand. I hope nothing is wrong.